11 posts tagged “frustrations”
So, I'm averaging at least three doctor appointments a week, complete with blood and urine labs (EVERY TIME). TMI, I know, and I'm sorry. Anyway, nothing wrong so far (great news!!). Tomorrow I meet with the maternal fetal doctor who will probably yell at me for not keeping up with my glucose test for the past two, two and half weeks. But! What can I say, "oh sorry, first I had a bout of paranoid pre-eclampsia, then a horrible tooth ache which resulted in an emergency root canal, and then when that was over I ended up getting the flu" I don't think he will believe all of it, but it's the truth. I do get another ultrasound tomorrow, so I get to see how big Amelia is and what she may look like. I love end term ultrasounds. I also get to try out my new Magellen thingy to help me find the office! Yahoo!
I've been really hormonal lately. I really do feel bad for those around me. Like, my bf, she just had a baby last month, a wedding that she is in. Her almost SIL just moved down here, and she is moving in 6 weeks. So, we don't really get to talk much, and I almost get mad about it, like she is avoiding me or something. I know, it's silly and the world doesn't revolve around me, but man, would I love just one rotation. I did really well this week-end with bed rest, and sure enough my swelling went down as did the blood pressure. I was really, really, really bored though. Today, I did do a little shopping. I am almost done. I just need to get gifts for the two most important people in my life now. One of them made me promise not to get them anything, I said the same thing, but I threw a twist on it. I was like don't get me a Christmas gift, you can just wait until I am recovering from bringing your child into the world, after having a huge needle stuck into my back, a horrible tube stuck into my private area, and a huge scalpel cutting into my stomach as a living human being is being taken out (not neccisarly in that order) and get me a wonderful gift then. So either way I win. Nice gift and Bobby wont have to feel bad for being able to enjoy the wonders of child bearing. I'm either hoping for jewelery, or a new power cord for my laptop. Actually, I'm hoping for the power cord more. I still hate sitting at the desk to use the computer.
Anyway, if anything happens before Christmas I doubt there will be much updating. So just in case... Happy Holidays!
Ooh! One more thing. Still having troubles with the middle name. Suggestions are very welcomed. So far we have Amelia Winter Williams. Any thoughts?
Does anyone have an easy way to cast off? What is casting off? I guess I'll look it up while I wait.
On Saturday Bobby had drill. Unfortunatly, I had to go b/c it was family week and Bobby wanted me to volunteer to head the FRG group. The drive sucked. B didn't get home until almost midnight the night before and then we had to get up at 4 to drive down there. We did it though... well... I did it. I drove the whole way. Not a bad drive it's only "2 1/2-3" hours away. I some how made it in just under 2 hours. Anyway, we get there I start to swell AGAIN and my BP starts shooting up. Katherine, meanwhile is going full speed ahead. I woke that child up at 4 to get ready thinking she would sleep until we got there. Imagine my surprise when she not only stayed awake, but stayed awake and sang the whole way to ft. valley and then ran circles around everyone there. So, around 10 she finally passed out, I was holding her in the same area that had the moon jump. There were like 6-8 kids jumping in it when all of a sudden it started collapsing on them. These were older kids, ok, not like 3 or 4, but 6 and older. Anyway, all these grown ups start freaking out and I start laughing. I'm not mean or anything, but it was so something you would see on AFV. I got a couple of dirty looks, but luckily for me another mom was kind of laughing too. Ok, so then we left, not b/c I was laughing, but because of my swelling and BP. We come home, kind of clean and just chill for the rest of the day.
On Sunday, we did some shopping. We bought a dvd for Bobby and then we ended up buying the Wizard of Oz on DVD for K. We also looked in ToysRus for a toy box or two for Katherine. It was HELL, let me tell you. It was so crowed the shelves were so picked over. There was actually a man in an SUV in the parking lot honking in front of the store for his wife. People were driving down the one lane road that leads into TRU the wrong way... It was for real insane. After the horrible shopping experience we went to this awesome little pizza place that we love. All of a sudden I felt REALLY, REALLY sick. My BP was 163/111 and I thought I was going to puke everywhere. Well... first K puked at the table. Luckily she was discreet and gave me a kind of warning. So I was able to catch most of it in a paper towel and then let her finish in the bathroom. When we got back to the table she felt better but I felt worse. This was so putting B in a bad mood, b/c it was one of the last peaceful meals we would be able to have before the baby is born, and b/c I felt horrible and there was nothing he could do. Long story short. He starts pissing me off b/c he is in a bad mood, I'm sick and end up throwing up for ten minutes in the bathroom. We get our stuff to go and leave. I felt bad for our waitress. She had no idea what was going on and probably just thought we were really weird and or rude. Anyway, when we get back home stay on the couch for the rest of the night- my BP falls and I feel better.
Monday- I packed my bag for the hospital, did some laundry and made a list of last minute baby things we still needed. Bobby and I loaded up K and headed out. He dropped us off at Target while he got his hair cut. Katherine and I had a ball. We picked up a few things for Amelia and then Katherine picked out a few things for herself. Dollar books, a little police car to race, some bubble bath, new panties and a dvd. After that Bobby met us and we picked out a NICE BIG 50 gallon tub to use as a toy box. It works awesomely by the way. We went out for lunch after that b/c I was starved and there was nothing to eat in the house. So, we get to the restaurant, and I order wings for K. Bobby is like does she even like wings, and I'm like yeah. She loves them. He didn't believe me until he saw her pick the bones clean. We got tons of pictures. Anyway, so when we get home I'm exhausted and yes, my BP is up again. I try to take a nap which doesn't work, check my BP again and call the on-call nurse. I tell her how high is, how bad my feet are swelling, but I also tell her that I feel fine, and there is minimal swelling on the rest of my body. I also tell her that I really don't want to check into the hospital if I can help it b/c I know they will run the standard panel of tests and then send me home. She tells me to go to the hospital, at this time, Bobby and K are gone- they went to pick up B's parents from the airport. So I ask the nurse if it is ok to wait long enough for my husband to get home. * Not b/c I want him to drive me, why should both of us be stuck at the hospital, but b/c really I wanted to finish cleaning the house, and doing laundry just in case I did end up hospitalized longer than over night. She said it was fine. So, I call B let him know what's going on and start to clean. CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN. I moved K's stuff into a new dresser so that the changing table dresser just had Amelia's clothes in it. I moved all of K's toys into the tub, folded at least twelve loads of laundry, put them all away, vacuumed and cleaned out the crib and started putting baby stuff through out the house and nursery. I then informed my husband (who was at home by now) that I did not want him to take me to the hospital b/c it would be a waste of his time. We fought over it for a few minutes and then I was on my way. Blood work, urine test, F*cking catheter urine test, BP monitering, another crash course on 24 hour urine collecting and I was sent back home. Four hours wasted.
Tuesday- Involved peeing in a cup and dumping it into a collection container all day long. I also had to go to the dentist to have my root canaled cap filled. Then I was bad, and went to B&N for some literary therapy. Luckily I had a coupon. Today i had to drive back to the hospital to drop off my collection. The stupid chick at the L&D desk told me that I had to take it to the lab in the main hospital (I know they have people who run errands like that... I shouldn't have done it myself). Anyway, I make it to the main hospital, to lab and then they tell me that they can't take it b/c I don't have the orders. I'm like.- I was never given orders. So, they make me hold on to it while they get a hold of the doctors. The messed up thing is, I am obviously pregnant (19 days to go) my feet are swollen, my face is swollen, I'm getting pissed off b/c no one will take my f*cking pee and not one person offers me there seat. This is a room full of men and not pregnant women, and no one offers there seat to the fat, obviously miserable pregnant woman holding the gas can size container of pee. Anyway, the lab tech finally takes it and says she will call me if there are any problems. Biggest problem so far is that I need the results before my doctors appointment that was 2 hours later. I make it home, iron B's shirt for work and try to take a little nap before my doctors appointment. Doesn't work. Make it to my appointment, lab calls my cell phone, they need my height and weight before they can run the test. I tell them- they must have rushed the test b/c 15 minutes later my results are faxed in. Everything looks fine, I just need to stay off my feet, if my BP keeps rising then I might have Amelia before Christmas. Oh, and for some reason my old doctor never sent over my pre-natal lab work, so more blood is drawn. Thankfully, the day has gotten kind of better, not too much, but I think I'll live. I have nothing planned for tomorrow except for finishing Christmas cards and Christmas shopping, maybe even a little decorating. It's all so hard to do on bed rest though :)
I had more blood work done this morning. The nurse couldn't hit the vein for some reason and kept stabbing me and turning the needle. It really hurt.
Anyways!! So, I had my root canal done this morning as well. It really didn't hurt. In fact I think I may have fallen asleep during part of the procedure. What sucks though, is they can only give me Tylenol three for the pain. Tylenol does not affect me at all. The codeine.... it makes me shake, itch and throw up. After the initial numbing agents wore off I was in some major pain. I curled up on the couch crying. It was really sad and pathetic and a new low for me. Esp. because K was watching me cry. She climbed up on the couch and was like "what's wrong mommy? It's ok sweetie, Katherine's here. I'll make the pain go away. Let me give you a katherine kiss. all better." It was really sweet, but it still hurt. I ended up calling the dentist (crying) to make sure this kind of pain is normal. They were like yeah, normally we RX stronger narcotics but because you're pregnant we can't. It's going to hurt really bad for twenty-four hours and then the pain will be bad but not horrible. I thought I was going to die. My Bp was reaching scary levels and I was convinced the shaking from the codeine was a pre-seizure.
Anyway, now I am staggering my pain medication with Advil, and tomorrow I will ask my doctor if all this Advil taking has harmed the baby. God, I hope not. Now it's over though. Tuesday I have to go back to the regular dentist so they can fill the cap that was drilled through today.
It all started on Friday, well...actually Thursday. I started to swell. I wasn't going to let edema ruin a holiday, so I packed my trusty bp cuff and headed out to celebrate the holidays. My BP ranged from decent to high all day, so really I just took it easy. On Friday, my BP was steadily rising and my tooth started to hurt. Not hurt like, "oh, my tooth hurts" but hurt like "ohmigod! this motherfucking hurts. someone kill me now, PLEASE!!!!" When the pain would get really unbearable I would check my BP- it would peak at those points. I called the doctors and made the first available emergency appointment, was put on restrictive bed rest and given BP parameters to follow. My tooth still hurt really bad, and the pain was radiating up my face. I assumed it was preeclamptic preassure (at this point my hands had started swelling to the size of baseball mitts, and lets not even get into my feet or my face. Ok, my face looked like Ryan Reynolds, in the fat movie he was in. I stayed off my feet as much as possible only getting up to pee, shower and grab some groceries (including ambesol and orajel...neither of which help). Saturday and Sunday sucked with my BP and tooth ache. I was very tempted to call an ER dentist, but worried at the same time that they would tell me it was my BP and not an oral thing and that there was nothing they could do. So, today, after two or three really high BP readings I make it to the doctors. My husband has to come with me, b/c at this point I'm not allowed to drive (I could pass out or something like that). I warn him on the way that he probably won't like the doctor we are going to see, b/c the doctor always tries to dismiss my fears and says that I am being overly paranoid b/c of the fact that I had preeclampsia before. Also, when ever I go into to the doctors my BP drops. Sure enough I had a really low reading. I showed him my cuff with the high readings and proved that it was accurate b/c it did match the reading they got. The doctor then informed me that there was no protein in my urine, but they wanted to do a twenty four hour catch, do some blood work and see me in two or three days. I did the blood work, got my pee bucket, made a lab appointment for Wednesday, a follow up for Thursday and was sent home. When I got home my face hurt so badly- like for real- you couldn't possibly understand the pain. I called the dentist and made an emergency appointment for tomorrow. I forgot to mention that I am nine months pregnant though. I really hope it doesn't make a difference though b/c with the pain I'm in if they don't do anything then I am liable to OD on Advil or something. So, in addition to my busy week I now have to add two doctor appointments, 24 hours of peeing in a bucket and a trip to hell...um, I mean the dentists. God, I hope it gets better.
I have been trying to knit for almost two months now. I have bought book after book after book trying to learn how. I ordered a complete set of really nice wooden needles, and was given a bunch of aluminum needles. I have patterns, knitting projects, little knit kits (stitch markers, holders, counters, tape measure, ect..), and even a cute bag to hold it all in. The problem?
...I haven't even made a scarf yet. I think my brain is stupid in the craft department or something. I just don't know what to do with that last loop. I can cast on and do a basic knit stitch (?) but when I get to that last loop (the first one I casted on) I mess up. At first I tried working around it, but... it looked retarded. I don't know what to do.
So, to my craft bag I just want to say. I'm sorry. I haven't forgotten about you. I just don't know what to do with you.
My power cord finally caught on fire. I have about 45% left on my battery, and then it's dead. :( Hopefully my replacement cord will be here by next week. I am going to have B look at my iMac and see if he can figure out what is wrong with it...That way I wont be completly with out a computer. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
**Down to 42% now
Everything looks great. I see you lost weight. That really isn't reccomended in the third trimester. Try not to lose anymore. You want to keep your fasting level under 100 preferably 90 and you want to keep your two hour under 120. After the baby, you will want to get down to your ideal body weight as quickly as you can and stick to this diet because (#1) it's good for you, and (#2) it might prevent any potential problems with diabetes down the road. Good luck, and see you no later than two weeks.
Maybe writing down how bad in debt we are wasn't such a good idea. Ever since then I have been doing the head grabbing. Head Shaking, Oscar winning Why, oh why? How the hell did this happen? B finally realized we can't possibly move out on just his salary, and then he found out how much credit card debt we are in and got really upset. It's weird, b/c earlier I had been talking to my mom, and she was like, well... If you're moving out after the baby is born then should we get you practical gift cards for Christmas.. like food, and gas. And, I was like... I don't think we are going to move out that soon. I really don't know what to do about this. I don't want to take even more advantage of B's parents by staying here even longer... but I don't want us to live in a place with no electricity or food either.
I just don't know what to do.
Another shitty thing, because of this stupid cold/sinus infection... I have not been able to sleep. I am so fucking tired, but when I try to go to sleep I either can't breathe, can't get comfortable, or can't fall asleep. This sucks, because I had a huge day planned, and I am going to be worthless if I don't get any sleep. Also, being sick makes my morning sickness even worse. It would be so much nicer if I could just throw up and get it over with, rather than just gagging and almost throwing up all day. Anyway, that's enough bitching for now. More later I'm sure.
So, I got the phone call today. Coming in first, Gestational Diabetes it is! Coming in second is Anemia! I love being pregnant, but I guess my body doesn't. Oh well, this will probably be the last one. I just don't think I can put anymore stress and strain on my body. It is obviously very selfish and does not want to host anything other than what is required of it, and I guess babies are not seen as a neccessity. Ugh! Location:
