15 posts tagged “katherine”
So, they upped the dose of Zoloft. I'm starting therapy again (wahoo) and hopefully my therapist can find a balance or a decent combination of drugs that help with the depression and the anxiety. My doctor also ran the idea of possibly being bipolar past me. Wouldn't they know off hand? I'm not sure. Anyway, my medication selection is limited because of the nursing, but I'm staying hopeful that something will work. In other news... Amelia is a month old, well... actually a month and 5 days. Wow, time flies. She has gotten so big and is starting to develop such a demanding little personality. I love it! I have def. decided against going back to work. I can't leave the girls. Katherine has gotten so used to me being around, and I have yet to leave Amelia, even for five minutes... so work is out of the question. I'm not complaining though :) I love staying home with them! As for my new year resolutions... well, I have broken pretty much all of them. No worries though, I will start over in February. My view is that they are new year resolutions, so technically I have a year to achieve them, before the start of the new year next year. Make sense? I know, excuses, excuses, but hey, if they work then they work!
We bought Katherine the kid digital camera by fisher price. I don't care for the quality, but she loves it. Here are two pictures we took of her with it.
So, I got my new phone and I love it. It's pink and wonderful and full of wonderful phone goodness. My last one wasn't bad either, but it was a little to bulky for my liking. Anyway, the past two days have been ok, I had a terrible migrane that finally went away today. No kidding, it hurt so bad that I was considering a trip to the ER. But, the ER here sucks ( at least the one near our house) and so I toughed it out. I meant to go to the dr.'s today, but by the time I woke up it was the office lunch time, and the doctor leaves for the day after that. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. My internal clock is so messed up thanks to Bobby's FTO shift this month. It also happened to coincide with Amelia's birth, but we'll blame Bobby's shift for now :). Anyway, I can't fall asleep until like 3 or 4 sometimes 5 and then I am sooooo tired all day long. I've been a little sick since Saturday so I've been sleeping as much as I can when Amelia is sleeping, but then I feel like I'm ignoring Katherine. So, I have decided that no matter what, tomorrow is going to be a Katherine day. We will go to the park, feed the ducks, have a picnic, do a little shopping (and run a few errands) and then top it off with a trip to the ice cream shop. Sounds fun!! Oh, I gave Katherine my old cell phone- it had all these videos that I couldn't transfer over to my mac. Anyway, one of the videos was of my little brother (13) putting his nipple on fire (crazy, I know). Katherine freaking loves that video. She watched it over and over and over and over again. It was really weird and cute at the same time. Oh yeah!! Big news! Hopefully, I will be able to start school during the spring quarter!! I am really excited. To be honest, I don't really want a job outside of the house, I love being a mom and housewife. But, I love school, I know I'm such a dork, and I miss the challenge of learning. Not that it was much of a challenge in high school and the first three semesters of college, but wow last time I went I had to drop out mid-semester b/c I couldn't take care of Katherine by myself, and work full time (Bobby was away for 5 months doing officer basic training with the army) it was way to much to handle. I really admire all the parents (esp. the single parents) that can work, go to school and raise their children with out neglecting any of their responsibilities, but I digress... Anyway, I'm going back to school YAY! Now I just need to figure out what I really want to be when I "grow up" which is one of the reasons I dropped out after my third semester.
Anyway, that's it. Goodnight!
Here's how it happens. Katherine and I are laying on the couch, both asleep (she's getting over being sick and I'm just starting to get it). Anyway, Katherine in a sweaty sleeper. That is important to remember. She sweats a lot when she sleeps, we don't know why. The doctor thought it might be a preemie thing, but he never ran tests or did anything about it because he said it really wasn't a big deal. So, back to the story, we are asleep on the couch and all of a sudden I notice that my hip and leg are wet. I'm laying there thinking, please be sweat, oh please, please, please be sweat. No, Katherine had an accident. on. the. couch. My cell phone was in between us. My cell phone no longer works because it has been PEED on. So now I have to go get a new cell phone tomorrow, I know it's probably not a big deal, but I had some really cute pictures and videos on my phone :( Oh well... since I am on a bitchy rant though I will digress and mention how much i HATE the new Auqafina 16.9oz bottles. They suck!!
Much better now!
I've been handling the depression fairly well lately. I had been avoiding my friends and only talking to my family, but yesterday I got on the phone and computer and caught up with a couple of them. Yay! Nursing is going better, I have started pumping to keep my supply up, but Amelia is starting to seem more interested in it as well (maybe it's because of the pumping?). Also, I finally finished all my Christmas shopping yesterday. Now I just need to wrap everything- it's going to take forever!! Katherine is still having a few problems listening, but I've been working on it with her. I was a very lax disciplinarian before Amelia was born, and I don't want Katherine to associate stricter discipline with her new baby sister. I'm worried that that could lead to problems down the road, you know? Anyway, if I stay busy then I'm fine. Sometimes though, I do get that feeling that my house of cards is about to come tumbling down. The feeling is becoming rarer and rarer though. My next big goal is to find an apartment. Hopefully one that needs a curtisy officer... that would be fantastic. Ooh and to lose some more weight, I'm half way there, but I heard the first half usually just melts off, it's the last half you have to fight.
Today was a good day. I got my RX for Zoloft, my doctor said my incision looked great and that I was looking wonderful (I am a compliment ham), every one loved Amelia and she has been a little more interested in nursing today. Tomorrow I plan on buying a book or two on the subject and maybe calling the lactation consultant. I felt a little blue before Bobby left for work, but then I started cleaning. I have yet to go to bed. I took some more pictures of Amelia (I would have of Katherine, but she is in bed. I did manage to snag one though). Anyway, be sure to look at them b/c they are both so cute. Also, I really, really, appreciate all the support and kind words from everyone. They really do help. So thank you very much. Now i just need to find my little point and shoot (God, I hope I didn't lose it at the hospital) and everything will be great. Maybe some sleep too :)
I've almost made it twenty-four hours with out crying. Not that I haven't wanted to, but the feeling has lessened over the past day or so... I still plan on asking my doctor for nursing safe anti-depressants tomorrow. I was on them (actually a nice little cocktail of them) before getting pregnant and I really do think I need something now. No worries though. I did alright last night, a lot better then I expected. I managed to get the girls to bed early (before 11) and I was in bed shortly after. I texted Bobby every time I woke up to nurse to tell him to hang in there. He should have gotten off at six or shortly after, but they got a really weird call around five, and had to write the reports and wait for the detectives and other officers to get to the scene, so he didn't get off until after 8. Figure in the hour and a half drive... poor guy. I came home from Amelia's first appointment around 11 and saw a drink, and I was like what the hell, then I remembered that this is his night time now, and will be for the next month, but wow, it was still a little shocking. I took Katherine downstairs after we got home, and asked my MIL to watch her so that I could get a little nap, it kind of worked... got some cleaning done, ironed B's uniform, uploaded pictures (check them out ) and did a little Christmas shopping. My mother in law even offered to let my use their SUV (I drive a cougar and it sucks with two car seats and a diaper bag, just way too small) when I wanted to. When I came home I got Bobby up and spent some quality time with him. I think maybe it's his shift that bothers me too, It just seems like more bad things happen late at night and in the wee hours of morning, and I don't want him to get hurt.
i have had a rough time with Katherine lately. She doesn't want to listen to anyone and carries on in her little daredevil ways. I am so worried she is going to get hurt, but the only form of discipline that seems to work is spanking, and I hate to spank. I have and appointment with her doctor on Thursday to discuss that and to get her a flu shot. Wow! thinking about it, I am still averaging a shit load of doctor appointments this week. Hopefully, they will be finished soon. I have another doctors appointment for Amelia next week b/c I'm worried about her weight gain. She lost four ounces since birth, her doctor reassured me that it is ok, but I'm still new to this actual nursing thing and I'm not sure how much she is actually eating. I pumped when Katherine was in the NICU to know exactly how much she was consuming and I hope that I don't have to do the same thing with Amelia, but I do get paranoid and don't want to starve her. Wow, I am so rambling on. Anyway, I hope I make it through the night with out crying... that would be at least a day.
On Saturday Bobby had drill. Unfortunatly, I had to go b/c it was family week and Bobby wanted me to volunteer to head the FRG group. The drive sucked. B didn't get home until almost midnight the night before and then we had to get up at 4 to drive down there. We did it though... well... I did it. I drove the whole way. Not a bad drive it's only "2 1/2-3" hours away. I some how made it in just under 2 hours. Anyway, we get there I start to swell AGAIN and my BP starts shooting up. Katherine, meanwhile is going full speed ahead. I woke that child up at 4 to get ready thinking she would sleep until we got there. Imagine my surprise when she not only stayed awake, but stayed awake and sang the whole way to ft. valley and then ran circles around everyone there. So, around 10 she finally passed out, I was holding her in the same area that had the moon jump. There were like 6-8 kids jumping in it when all of a sudden it started collapsing on them. These were older kids, ok, not like 3 or 4, but 6 and older. Anyway, all these grown ups start freaking out and I start laughing. I'm not mean or anything, but it was so something you would see on AFV. I got a couple of dirty looks, but luckily for me another mom was kind of laughing too. Ok, so then we left, not b/c I was laughing, but because of my swelling and BP. We come home, kind of clean and just chill for the rest of the day.
On Sunday, we did some shopping. We bought a dvd for Bobby and then we ended up buying the Wizard of Oz on DVD for K. We also looked in ToysRus for a toy box or two for Katherine. It was HELL, let me tell you. It was so crowed the shelves were so picked over. There was actually a man in an SUV in the parking lot honking in front of the store for his wife. People were driving down the one lane road that leads into TRU the wrong way... It was for real insane. After the horrible shopping experience we went to this awesome little pizza place that we love. All of a sudden I felt REALLY, REALLY sick. My BP was 163/111 and I thought I was going to puke everywhere. Well... first K puked at the table. Luckily she was discreet and gave me a kind of warning. So I was able to catch most of it in a paper towel and then let her finish in the bathroom. When we got back to the table she felt better but I felt worse. This was so putting B in a bad mood, b/c it was one of the last peaceful meals we would be able to have before the baby is born, and b/c I felt horrible and there was nothing he could do. Long story short. He starts pissing me off b/c he is in a bad mood, I'm sick and end up throwing up for ten minutes in the bathroom. We get our stuff to go and leave. I felt bad for our waitress. She had no idea what was going on and probably just thought we were really weird and or rude. Anyway, when we get back home stay on the couch for the rest of the night- my BP falls and I feel better.
Monday- I packed my bag for the hospital, did some laundry and made a list of last minute baby things we still needed. Bobby and I loaded up K and headed out. He dropped us off at Target while he got his hair cut. Katherine and I had a ball. We picked up a few things for Amelia and then Katherine picked out a few things for herself. Dollar books, a little police car to race, some bubble bath, new panties and a dvd. After that Bobby met us and we picked out a NICE BIG 50 gallon tub to use as a toy box. It works awesomely by the way. We went out for lunch after that b/c I was starved and there was nothing to eat in the house. So, we get to the restaurant, and I order wings for K. Bobby is like does she even like wings, and I'm like yeah. She loves them. He didn't believe me until he saw her pick the bones clean. We got tons of pictures. Anyway, so when we get home I'm exhausted and yes, my BP is up again. I try to take a nap which doesn't work, check my BP again and call the on-call nurse. I tell her how high is, how bad my feet are swelling, but I also tell her that I feel fine, and there is minimal swelling on the rest of my body. I also tell her that I really don't want to check into the hospital if I can help it b/c I know they will run the standard panel of tests and then send me home. She tells me to go to the hospital, at this time, Bobby and K are gone- they went to pick up B's parents from the airport. So I ask the nurse if it is ok to wait long enough for my husband to get home. * Not b/c I want him to drive me, why should both of us be stuck at the hospital, but b/c really I wanted to finish cleaning the house, and doing laundry just in case I did end up hospitalized longer than over night. She said it was fine. So, I call B let him know what's going on and start to clean. CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN. I moved K's stuff into a new dresser so that the changing table dresser just had Amelia's clothes in it. I moved all of K's toys into the tub, folded at least twelve loads of laundry, put them all away, vacuumed and cleaned out the crib and started putting baby stuff through out the house and nursery. I then informed my husband (who was at home by now) that I did not want him to take me to the hospital b/c it would be a waste of his time. We fought over it for a few minutes and then I was on my way. Blood work, urine test, F*cking catheter urine test, BP monitering, another crash course on 24 hour urine collecting and I was sent back home. Four hours wasted.
Tuesday- Involved peeing in a cup and dumping it into a collection container all day long. I also had to go to the dentist to have my root canaled cap filled. Then I was bad, and went to B&N for some literary therapy. Luckily I had a coupon. Today i had to drive back to the hospital to drop off my collection. The stupid chick at the L&D desk told me that I had to take it to the lab in the main hospital (I know they have people who run errands like that... I shouldn't have done it myself). Anyway, I make it to the main hospital, to lab and then they tell me that they can't take it b/c I don't have the orders. I'm like.- I was never given orders. So, they make me hold on to it while they get a hold of the doctors. The messed up thing is, I am obviously pregnant (19 days to go) my feet are swollen, my face is swollen, I'm getting pissed off b/c no one will take my f*cking pee and not one person offers me there seat. This is a room full of men and not pregnant women, and no one offers there seat to the fat, obviously miserable pregnant woman holding the gas can size container of pee. Anyway, the lab tech finally takes it and says she will call me if there are any problems. Biggest problem so far is that I need the results before my doctors appointment that was 2 hours later. I make it home, iron B's shirt for work and try to take a little nap before my doctors appointment. Doesn't work. Make it to my appointment, lab calls my cell phone, they need my height and weight before they can run the test. I tell them- they must have rushed the test b/c 15 minutes later my results are faxed in. Everything looks fine, I just need to stay off my feet, if my BP keeps rising then I might have Amelia before Christmas. Oh, and for some reason my old doctor never sent over my pre-natal lab work, so more blood is drawn. Thankfully, the day has gotten kind of better, not too much, but I think I'll live. I have nothing planned for tomorrow except for finishing Christmas cards and Christmas shopping, maybe even a little decorating. It's all so hard to do on bed rest though :)
So, I went to my doctors appointment today. I thought it was just to go over my blood work and labs, so I really didn't do anything special for it if you know what I mean... Anyway, I was told to get undressed from the waist down for the group b strep test. I was like what, I don't need that, I'm having a c-section. Oh no, they said, you still have to have it. I was mortified, luckily it has been groomed a little this week, but it's hard to groom what you can't see. So, the midwife (yes, I had to see a midwife b/c the doctor was running 40-45 minutes late. You know though, I honestly like the midwives better and if I didn't have to have a c-section then I wouldn't even bother with the doctors) said that I can go into labor any day! Yippeee! I still have so much work to do though. It kind of scares me to know that in less then four weeks I will be responsible for not one but two children. Yikes! I was scaring Bobby, I told him that the daughters of police officers were almost as bad as ministers daughters. He started freaking out. It was really cute. Speaking of which, Bobby is starting to enjoy his job more. I think he is now focusing on the hero aspects rather than the death risks. Have I mentioned how hot he looks in his uniform. Ohmigod! He looks so freaking hot.
Oh! I totally forgot to mention. The baby is still breech, but get this she isn't even laying vertically. She's laying horizontally and refusing to drop. I'm not sure if this is normal or not, but the midwife said it was weird. Not that it's a big deal with the planned c-section. I have to go back next week to check everything out again. So, this week I was at the doctors three times and the dentists twice. Next week I have to go to two different doctors appointments and the dentists. Wow! Busy, busy, busy...
