4 posts tagged “pain”

Ok, so on Tuesday I had an appointment with AMFM (atlanta maternal fetal medicine). I knew I was going to get an ultrasound, but I thought the main reason I was there was for the diabetes and to see how big A got. They took my blood pressure first, and finally a high reading in the office as well as out of. So.. it wasn't all in my head, then they did the ultrasound and I got a lot of "hmm-mm's" and " have you bleed during this pregnancy and did you smoke" (no, and no)  no one was really telling me anything. After the U/S they took my BP and it was still high, I was also starting to swell. They started to explain things in the U/S to me. First they said they thought they saw blood around my placenta and that it looked like a placental abrupt-ion. They also said that Amelia was really small, esp. for being a diabetic baby, and that they were worried about growth restrictions. Then there was this wispy area that looked like fluid build up behind the amniotic sac. They said that combined with my high BP, swelling, and past pregnancy complications that they recommended that I be delivered that day. Talk about being in shock, they told me to go straight to my hospital and have some more tests run. So, I called my husband- told him not to leave work though, b/c I was sure the hospital was just going to send me back home. I went to the hospital, registered, changed and did all the required tests. Then the doctor came in. She said it was up to me, I could have the baby now, tomorrow, next week, or on her due date, but, she wanted me to go for one more ultrasound and wait for the next doctor to come on before I made any decisions. Again, I called my husband and told him not to leave work yet, b/c the doctor that I was about to see was a huge full term pusher, and I doubted she would want me to deliver yet. I went for the ultrasound, my labs were all coming back and I met with the doctor. She said six hours after my last meal (which was on the way to the hospital) I would have a c-section. Great, I reply and start calling people. I called Bobby told him what was going on (evidently, It looked like I did have a placental abrupt-ion, and I was in the early stages of preeclampsia and HELLP. So it was better to not wait) and told him to get to the hospital. Then I told him to go home and change first, and maybe grab my bag. I was totally calm this whole time. Bobby arrived then they said that they were pushing my c-section back an hour b/c someone else was a higher risk at the time. So B and I just hung out in triage. A little later the surgical nurse came in and administered two iv medication and an oral med. One of them happened to be Raglan ( an anti -nausea medication) which makes me freak out. I am not joking, as soon as it hit my system I stared shivering, shaking, and wanting to crawl out of my skin. I was having trouble breathing and just all kinds of anxiety. I was really trying to keep it all together b/c I didn't want to freak B out by being so upset myself, but really I was convinced I was going to die. Anyway, I made it to the operating room and survived the spinal with the help of nitrous oxide, by the time they let Bobby into the operating room the operation had already started. I was really doing well, a lot better than when I had Katherine.  Anyway, about half way through I started freaking out again, and just started puking everywhere. Then I heard Amelia cry, and it was so awesome. I didn't get to see her right away, but then they brought her over to see me and it was like every single cheesy movie moment. It was truly breath taking. Then I passed out.  I think. The next thing I remember is being rolled into recovery. I know they said something about me losing A LOT of blood and being severely anemic, but other than that nothing... oh and they were looking for the placental abrupt-ion. Anyway, the anthesia started to wear off, and then I itched, and itched and itched. To the point where I have this horrible scab under my nose from scratching. Amelia got to spend the night in the room with Bobby and me and I got to nurse her almost right away. I'll spare you the details of recovering, but I will let you know that once I got past the initial pain everything has been cool. I didn't take any pain medication until I started getting up to walk, and I only stuck to motrin. I was able to come home yesterday, we were hoping for Thursday, but they were waiting for lab work to come back to see if I needed a blood transfusion. Luckily, I didn't. Thursday night the PPD kicked in though.
The horrible thing is I know it's normal, but I hate crying- esp. in front of people. I managed to keep it cool until last night and then I lost it. I cried all night, over everything. I felt like a horrible wife for not being able to take care of my husband they way he has taken care of me. I felt like a horrible mother for not being able to play with Katherine and for abandoning her while I was in the hospital. Then I felt like being a horrible mother b/c I wasn't excited about being pregnant this time around for awhile. It took time to get use to the idea, where as when I was pregnant with Katherine I was excited the whole time. Then I felt upset for being upset and not being excited on Amelia's homecoming and I felt like I was ruining Bobby's life and that he deserved so much better than me. God, I am rambling now. Anyway, today has been a little better. I am able to talk to people with out crying, but I have still cried a lot. I really want to feel normal and happy again. I think I am going to start therapy again soon, b/c the feelings I had last night were really bad, not bad like hurt the babies bad, but bad for me. Like, what am I doing bad. I really thought I wanted to die. Luckily, though, I would never do anything like that, but I hate having those feelings. Man, I'm tearing up again. It does get better though. I just have to remember that. Anyway, I'm sure the next few posts will be a roller coaster of wows and depression.

So, I'm averaging at least three doctor appointments a week, complete with blood and urine labs (EVERY TIME). TMI, I know, and I'm sorry. Anyway, nothing wrong so far (great news!!). Tomorrow I meet with the maternal fetal doctor who will probably yell at me for not keeping up with my glucose test for the past two, two and half weeks. But! What can I say, "oh sorry, first I had a bout of paranoid pre-eclampsia, then a horrible tooth ache which resulted in an emergency root canal, and then when that was over I ended up getting the flu" I don't think he will believe all of it, but it's the truth. I do get another ultrasound tomorrow, so I get to see how big Amelia is and what she may look like. I love end term ultrasounds. I also get to try out my new Magellen thingy to help me find the office! Yahoo!

I've been really hormonal lately. I really do feel bad for those around me. Like, my bf, she just had a baby last month, a wedding that she is in. Her almost SIL just moved down here, and she is moving in 6 weeks. So, we don't really get to talk much, and I almost get mad about it, like she is avoiding me or something. I know, it's silly and the world doesn't revolve around me, but man, would I love just one rotation. I did really well this week-end with bed rest, and sure enough my swelling went down as did the blood pressure. I was really, really, really bored though. Today, I did do a little shopping. I am almost done. I just need to get gifts for the two most important people in my life now. One of them made me promise not to get them anything, I said the same thing, but I threw a twist on it. I was like don't get me a Christmas gift, you can just wait until I am recovering from bringing your child into the world, after having a huge needle stuck into my back, a horrible tube stuck into my private area, and a huge scalpel cutting into my stomach as a living human being is being taken out (not neccisarly in that order) and get me a wonderful gift then. So either way I win. Nice gift and Bobby wont have to feel bad for being able to enjoy the wonders of child bearing. I'm either hoping for jewelery, or a new power cord for my laptop. Actually, I'm hoping for the power cord more. I still hate sitting at the desk to use the computer.

Anyway, if anything happens before Christmas I doubt there will be much updating. So just in case... Happy Holidays!
Ooh! One more thing. Still having troubles with the middle name. Suggestions are very welcomed. So far we have Amelia Winter Williams. Any thoughts?

I had more blood work done this morning. The nurse couldn't hit the vein for some reason and kept stabbing me and turning the needle. It really hurt.
Anyways!! So, I had my root canal done this morning as well. It really didn't hurt. In fact I think I may have fallen asleep during part of the procedure. What sucks though, is they can only give me Tylenol three for the pain. Tylenol does not affect me at all. The codeine.... it makes me shake, itch and throw up. After the initial numbing agents wore off I was in some major pain. I curled up on the couch crying. It was really sad and pathetic and a new low for me. Esp. because K was watching me cry. She climbed up on the couch and was like "what's wrong mommy? It's ok sweetie, Katherine's here. I'll make the pain go away. Let me give you a katherine kiss. all better." It was really sweet, but it still hurt. I ended up calling the dentist (crying) to make sure this kind of pain is normal. They were like yeah, normally we RX stronger narcotics but because you're pregnant we can't. It's going to hurt really bad for twenty-four hours and then the pain will be bad but not horrible. I thought I was going to die. My Bp was reaching scary levels and I was convinced the shaking from the codeine was a pre-seizure.
Anyway, now I am staggering my pain medication with Advil, and tomorrow I will ask my doctor if all this Advil taking has harmed the baby. God, I hope not. Now it's over though. Tuesday I have to go back to the regular dentist so they can fill the cap that was drilled through today.

It all started on Friday, well...actually Thursday. I started to swell. I wasn't going to let edema ruin a holiday, so I packed my trusty bp cuff and headed out to celebrate the holidays. My BP ranged from decent to high all day, so really I just took it easy. On Friday, my BP was steadily rising and my tooth started to hurt. Not hurt like, "oh, my tooth hurts" but hurt like "ohmigod! this motherfucking hurts. someone kill me now, PLEASE!!!!" When the pain would get really unbearable I would check my BP- it would peak at those points. I called the doctors and made the first available emergency appointment, was put on restrictive bed rest and given BP parameters to follow. My tooth still hurt really bad, and the pain was radiating up my face. I assumed it was preeclamptic preassure (at this point my hands had started swelling to the size of baseball mitts, and lets not even get into my feet or my face. Ok, my face looked like Ryan Reynolds, in the fat movie he was in. I stayed off my feet as much as possible only getting up to pee, shower and grab some groceries (including ambesol and orajel...neither of which help). Saturday and Sunday sucked with my BP and tooth ache. I was very tempted to call an ER dentist, but worried at the same time that they would tell me it was my BP and not an oral thing and that there was nothing they could do. So, today, after two or three really high BP readings I make it to the doctors. My husband has to come with me, b/c at this point I'm not allowed to drive (I could pass out or something like that). I warn him on the way that he probably won't like the doctor we are going to see, b/c the doctor always tries to dismiss my fears and says that I am being overly paranoid b/c of the fact that I had preeclampsia before. Also, when ever I go into to the doctors my BP drops. Sure enough I had a really low reading. I showed him my cuff with the high readings and proved that it was accurate b/c it did match the reading they got. The doctor then informed me that there was no protein in my urine, but they wanted to do a twenty four hour catch, do some blood work and see me in two or three days. I did the blood work, got my pee bucket, made a lab appointment for Wednesday, a follow up for Thursday and was sent home. When I got home my face hurt so badly- like for real- you couldn't possibly understand the pain. I called the dentist and made an emergency appointment for tomorrow. I forgot to mention that I am nine months pregnant though. I really hope it doesn't make a difference though b/c with the pain I'm in if they don't do anything then I am liable to OD on Advil or something. So, in addition to my busy week I now have to add two doctor appointments, 24 hours of peeing in a bucket and a trip to hell...um, I mean the dentists. God, I hope it gets better.